Note: If you’re curious, the article title is inspired by legendary composer Max Richter’s marvelously melancholic song On the Nature of Daylight. It’s worth a listen!

In Defense of Dough Dogmatism

I want to start this off by emphasizing a certain part of my character and person. Namely, that I am a reasonable man. In most matters of contention, argument, and the like, you’ll find me more than willing to weigh the opinions of others, should they be presented in a logically sound way. It is, after all, the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

But there is one point I will not concede—one realm of our shared human experience of perspectives, ideologies, and convictions for which I will not be swayed by the opinions of man, only the divine. Like Saul who became Paul on the road to Damascus, it would take an act of our sovereign Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to stray me from the point I’m about to deliver here to you.

Of all the pastries ever invented, from the genesis of mankind to this day, and for the remainder of all days, so far as I’m concerned, I believe one solemn thing.

Among pastries, cinnamon rolls are the best.

Now, I know there are those who might disagree—perhaps the croissant connoisseurs or the danish devotees. To anyone entertaining such heretical thoughts, I have but one response:

Naruto Meme

For those who know me personally, my cinnamon roll elitism comes as no surprise. I am not shy about my passion for cinnamon rolls. I enjoy sharing them with others, and sparingly, enjoying them myself. You see, familiarity breeds contempt, and I believe that consuming something too often renders it commonplace. I reserve my cinnamon roll indulgence for special occasions, celebrations, and instances where emotional reprieve is duly needed. This ensures that when I do partake, it truly means something to me. It’s not an everyday affair; it’s a treat. And a treat ceases to be such when it’s had too often.

I spare no effort to provide a surplus of cinnamon rolls at events where I serve as the lead organizer, particularly those dedicated to engaging students in STEM education—a field where I’ve taken on a leadership role at my employer’s local office. If I’m running the event and cinnamon rolls are nowhere to be found, you can bet I moved heaven and earth trying to secure them. Whether the challenge was logistical, budgetary, or some mysterious obstacle in between, rest assured I made every attempt to furnish the people with cinnamon rolls.

Now, what was it that the famed French queen, Marie Antoinette, purportedly proclaimed? “Let them eat cake.” Well, setting aside the historical debates about whether she actually said that, and stripping away the layers of royal aloofness, opulent detachment, and the tiny detail of sparking a revolution, I declare—in a spirit entirely devoid of such extravagance—”Let them eat cinnamon rolls.” Unlike the ill-fated monarch, I am, dear reader, a man of the people.

Setting the Stage

If at this point you haven’t picked up on the jovial nature of this blog post, let me state it explicitly now, for fear of appearing a lunatic to those unfamiliar with my sense of humor. But for real though, I think cinnamon rolls are the best pastry.

Anyways, as we near the holiday season of 2024, I find myself reflecting on the same period in 2023 when I spent the holidays with my family in Jefferson City, Missouri. Despite living six years in the greater St. Louis area as a college student, I had never ventured to Missouri’s state capital. My only connection to Jefferson City was through my time as a track athlete at Lindenwood University. We competed in the same conference as Lincoln University, which resides there.

Lincoln University was memorable for fielding an almost entirely Caribbean track team—Jamaica, Bahamas, Antigua, Barbuda, Trinidad—they had the islands covered. Over four years of friendly rivalry, I forged friendships with students from Lincoln. Their review of Jefferson City was consistent in every conversation: it’s quiet and boring.

Well, as it happens, quiet and boring is my specialty. I lead a quiet life that—by the standards of social media—might seem dull. But to me, it’s a good life, a peaceful one. Quiet and boring towns, and people, hold a special place in my heart, Jefferson City among them. I took my family there for the 2023 holidays and found it exactly as described, much to my delight. Quaint, slow-going, down to earth, and most importantly, filled to the brim with excellent cinnamon roll spots. So much so that I’m writing about it a year later. Without further ado, here they are—the cinnamon roll spots I visited in Jefferson City, Missouri.

Yanis Coffee Zone

I fell in love with this place. During my stay, I became a regular—not only for their cinnamon rolls but also for the family-oriented homey vibes. It was easy to find an outlet, the free Wi-Fi was fast, they offered tea in addition to coffee, and they had a full-fledged, restaurant-level food menu. But most importantly, they had cinnamon rolls. They were beyond good, beyond great, beyond excellent even. A different word is needed. At the risk of sounding pretentious, I’ll go with sublime.

Visually, the roll was unimpressive. It wasn’t a perfect circle; it was somewhat misshapen; the icing on top had lumps. But none of that mattered. The taste was immaculate. Remarkably, it tasted amazing whether warm or cold. Either way, it was marvelous. Just the right amount of cinnamon—not too much, not too little. I learned that they sell out of cinnamon rolls rather quickly. On at least two occasions, I came here to hang out only to discover the last cinnamon roll had been sold. I adjusted accordingly, ensuring I arrived closer to opening time to secure mine.

I spent some of my final hours in Jefferson City during that holiday period here—writing a year-in-review reflection, quietly meditating, reading my Bible, and savoring a cinnamon roll. This place is exceptional—locally owned, authentic, down to earth. The staff were incredibly kind, and the owner frequently roamed the shop, chatting with regulars. An awesome spot.

Plate & Pour

They win the creativity award for cinnamon rolls in Jefferson City. They had a very unique cinnamon roll with a maple/caramel-like icing that was awesome. Warmed up very well. This spot also wins the aesthetic award of all the cinnamon roll spots I visited. Very bright, warm, inviting decor. A lot of effort was clearly put into making this place look good. The cinnamon roll also stood out. It was gooey—in a good way, not in the “they didn’t let this bake long enough” way. Good stuff all around.

Schulte’s Fresh Foods

They had so many cinnamon roll options here I wasn’t able to reasonably try them all during my stay. There’s a bakery section in the store with a case the length of a rather long wall filled with freshly baked pastries, and an entire section dedicated to cinnamon rolls. It’s almost as if they let the bakers try out different kinds of cinnamon rolls to see what works. I tried at least three different types: icing, cream cheese, and some sort of tres leches fusion, and there were still a handful of others I didn’t get to. Locals also let me know this is the best place in town to get donuts. The baking team here goes hard. Everything here was good.

Perkins American Food Co.

Really large cinnamon rolls, jumbo-sized, but size isn’t everything. These were alright. My family shared the same opinion, with some of them having harsher reviews than what I’m willing to publish on this generally positive and upbeat blog I like to keep. Where they excel though is with omelettes. The omelettes were fire, and we did actually end up ordering again here—not for cinnamon rolls, but for omelettes. We all have our talents; cinnamon rolls may not be theirs, but those omelettes—exceptional.

Scooters Coffee

This is a chain that can be found throughout the Midwest. I first discovered them during the summer of 2016 in Omaha, Nebraska. I was there for an internship and—given that I was limited to public transportation—didn’t do much cinnamon roll exploring. Scooter’s was my rock during that time. The working man’s cinnamon roll is what I’d call this. It’s good; it won’t (and shouldn’t) win any awards, but it’s good. Dependable. Reliable. It’s a drive-through, so it’s like a grab-and-go cinnamon roll.

Hy-Vee

A grocery store chain found throughout the country, but not everywhere, so seeing one of these was special to me during my time in Jefferson City. The cinnamon rolls were alright. Grocery store bakery section cinnamon rolls are hit and miss. These were largely forgettable. I wasn’t expecting much; I went here really because I’d never been to a Hy-Vee and wanted to check it out.

High Rise Bakery

They served an impressively large cinnamon roll, but they were a bit sparing with the icing. The taste leaned more toward a coffee roll—which, despite plebeians mistaking the two, is not the same as a proper cinnamon roll—than what I was hoping for. It was good but could’ve used more icing. However, the value of this spot as a “third place” in the city was second only to Yanis Coffee Zone for me. I ended up bringing my family here to hang out and enjoy the vibes.

Love Coffee

This spot isn’t in Jefferson City; it’s in nearby Columbia, Missouri. I stopped by on my way out of town—the airport’s in Columbia. The cinnamon roll was great. So a step above good, but a tad below effusive praise like “sublime” or “exceptional”. What stood out most here was how nice the staff was. I hung out for an hour or so before leaving for the airport, and they came by several times to make sure I had everything I needed. The couches here are really comfy as well.

Final Thoughts

I hate to present myself as some sort of reviewer or connoisseur of cinnamon rolls, but if that were ever a job title for which a person could make a reasonable living, I’d apply in a heartbeat. I don’t intend for this post to be a ranking of spots—I mean, Yanis Coffee Zone was my favorite—but that doesn’t mean it’s the “best” in the city, just the one I liked the most. All of these places are great, and if you’re reading this in Jefferson City, or ever plan on visiting, I encourage you to stop by all of them and form your own opinions.

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